Eighteen.

For Sydney on her 18th birthday, with love. 

Eighteen.

Eighteen is windows opened wide,

    a hint of springtime on the breeze;

        When hope wells up

            with joy and love and every possibility. 

Eighteen is sunshine on her face,

    strength in her arms,

        and feet that take

            her dance out to the world. 

Eighteen is leveling up!

    With gifts revealed as life unfolds;

        A flower in bloom

            for everyone to see.

Eighteen steps through the door, 

    out to the path.

        She trusts the One who wrote her book

            to lead her and make everything come true. 

                                            ~ Sara Shull ~ 

(Art credit, pen and watercolor: Ruthie Shull)  

Unexpected thaw

Unexpected thaw

The frozen giants were surprised to hear the dripping water.
        The gentle sounds creep into sylvan dreams.

     
The spluttering rivulets.

              
The burble of little streams cutting through the ice along the road.

Squirrels swoop up their tails to dance across the softening snow, 

     stopping in dramatic pose to sniff the sweetness on the air. 

            On tiptoes, they leap, avoiding puddles in their daily path.

The trickles barely graze the woody minds. 

     Like distant sounds of breakfast way downstairs on Sunday morning. 

           Dozing, while joyful sun is dancing through the window. 

                The cozy warmth and brightness keep eyelids closed.

That bright sun bathes the frozen, sleeping giants with a rosy-orange glow.  

        Warmth begins to seep into the heartwood; 

                 bark expands as sap begins to flow.  

Content, the giants murmur in their sleep.

Birds swoop out to meet the southern wind.

      Wild melody bursts out in empty landscape,  

           the bird himself surprised to hear the sound.  

                  

                      Followed by a hush, solemn and still.  

       

       After a moment far longer than an echo, 

             the song is heard repeated far away.

All the while, the water droplets drip, the drips turn into rivulets, 

          the rivulets begin to widen into pools and puddles all around.

A SPLASH as children run after the dog. 

          Splash and stomp and soak the boots clean through.

The laugher bounces here and there, then fades.

The trees begin to itch to stretch their spines, 

          extend their limbs, 

                and crack their bony knuckles. 

But wait, the frozen giants try to think…  it can't be time for Spring?

Just let me sleep a little more. 

         I’ll get up soon. 

                  I promise.

                                         ~Sara~   

            He sends out his command to the earth;

                        his word runs swiftly.

            He gives snow like wool;

                        he scatters frost like ashes.

            He hurls down his crystals of ice like crumbs;

                        who can stand before his cold?

            He sends out his word, and melts them;

                        he makes his wind blow and the waters flow.

                                                            ~Psalm 147:15-18

In hope, believe that peace will come again.

Face to the sea, with sun upon my back.

     I lean into the wind… steady, strong, and chill.

          The stinging spray rouses my numb soul.

I stand, just stand, and look.

Water so vast, so deep.

      Who can grasp the volume of the depths?  

           It scares me… just a bit… to think of all that weight.

Waves crash hard against the shore.

Foam escapes, rushing up to grasp at freedom from the pull.

          One gasp of breath and drawn back down

                    to join the clear gray green.

The rhythmic peace,

        untiring sound,

               lulls against the danger of that strength.

Sand and rocks upon the shore,

       as far as I can see.

I crouch to choose among the pebbles.

I’m small as sand beside those waves that crash the shore.

         Yet, I know the joy of the chosen.

                I know this, though all around may seem but cold and fog.

Keep me safe, O my God. Let me not be lost along the shore.

            Forgotten, kicked, and sifted by the sea.

     May I be as one plucked up and held tight in your hand.

            Saved for a purpose yet unseen.

And, so I stand, a witness to the wild dance of the shore.

The roar of wind and waves demands I listen.

           My weary soul obeys the call to rest.

     The setting sun, a warm wrap on my shoulders.

           The glow of home to come shines in the dusk.

Be still.

Breath deep.

In hope, believe that peace will come again. 

                     ~Sara~

Awake in the dark on a full moon night

Awake in the dark on a full moon night.

Tranquil heart to match the even breath of sleep 

       throughout the house.

Peace pours through the window pane

       and makes a lovely pool upon the floor.

Outside all is beauty,

        frozen beauty in the moon’s blue light.

Standing wrapped against the chill,

       but warm in deepest soul,

forehead pressed against the glass to look out on the scene.

           The trees stand sentry in the night,

           Their faithful shadows long upon the snow.

           Bare branched lacy silhouettes against the starry sky.

           The snow a satin gown for all the world.

                            So cold.  So calm.  So quiet.

The hush of holy awe upon my lips,

I whisper to the night . . .

            Praise the Lord, O winter moon,

                        praise Him, all you shining stars!

            Praise Him, too, you highest heavens!

            Let them praise the name of the Lord,

                        for His name alone is exalted;

                        His majesty is above earth and heaven.

            

           O Lord, our Lord,

                        how majestic is your name in all the earth!

            

            Praise the Lord!

                                   ~Sara~

Psalm 148~

Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord from the heavens;
     praise him in the heights!
Praise him, all his angels;
     praise him, all his hosts!

Praise him, sun and moon,

     praise him, all you shining stars!
Praise him, you highest heavens,
     and you waters above the heavens!

Let them praise the name of the Lord!
   For he commanded and they were 

        created.
And he established them forever and 

        ever;
   he gave a decree, and it shall not pass 

        away.

Praise the Lord from the earth,

     you great sea creatures and all deeps,
fire and hail, snow and mist,
     stormy wind fulfilling his word!

Mountains and all hills,
     fruit trees and all cedars!
Beasts and all livestock,
     creeping things and flying birds!

Kings of the earth and all peoples,
     princes and all rulers of the earth!
Young men and maidens together,
      old men and children!

Let them praise the name of the Lord,
     for his name alone is exalted;
     his majesty is above earth and heaven.
He has raised up a horn for his people,
     praise for all his saints,
     for the people of Israel who are near 

          to him.

Praise the Lord!

Ash made life by Father's love

Thoughts in the sunshine on Ash Wednesday morning...























Sunlight spills across the floor,

Hot and piercing through the window's chill.

The dark of Winter unremembered in the light, 

Strong rays soak in deep to bones and flesh.

Spring is coming! 

Rejoice, O weary soul!

Look to hints of glory in the thaw, 

And resurrection gleams in melting rivulets. 

Our frames of dust seek mercy by our holy fear, 

And hope in ash made life by Father's love. 

             ~Sara~

As a father shows compassion to his children, 
     so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear Him. 
For He knows our frame; 
     He remembers that we are dust. 
            ~Psalm 103:13-14




* * * 

O, weary soul ~ Rejoice!

Sparkling, frost-dressed trees this morn;
     Sun breaking through the mist.
Winter beauty whispers, "glory..." in this still-life season.
      

          O, weary soul - Rejoice!

                              

                              ~Sara~

Living happily-ever-after

In honor of the twenty-fifth anniversary of our first date, I'm re-posting this poem...written on a perfect day for remembering.  So thankful to be celebrating the first quarter-century of Happily Ever After with my true love.  Very Thankful.









An Anniversary Day


Skipping leaves and half dressed trees
     seem pleased about the warmish days.

The sun grows soft and big while sailing deeper to the south.
     Evening's long shadows escape to chase our feet at noon.

That same sun spins out golden strands of memory
     that bind me to a day just like today.

Warm sun, warm hands, warm cookies
       dripping ice cream on a cozy hill.
    Kaleidoscopes of dazzled light shift across our jeans
          and draw our eyes to red leaves up above.

The leaves that in their lazy way
     drift down and down to make mosaics
          on the bright green all around.

The golden strands that day wove hazy screens
       to push out time and place and people all around.
           A golden day that witnessed bonded hearts
                 those many years ago.

Those golden strands this day wrap warm memories
       around and leave me feeling seventeen and loved
           while standing in the grass.

Eyes closed with face set toward the reddish glow
     . . . for moments I could be both here and there.

His ringing laughter calls to me across the years,
       and also strong and real around the bend.

Smiling, warm, beloved still
    . . . I turn around and walk into today.



                                       ~Sara~


"O, magnify the Lord with me,
and let us exalt His name together!"
                                        ~Psalm 34:3

Days of gold

Golden days, few and precious.

Roads are made in leaves under the tree.  

     Trucks, rakes, balls half-buried in the piles.

           

Orange, reds, and yellows curl and crisp and turn to brown.

And still the trees are full of blazing flags... 

       their rustled thankfulness is on the wind.

My soul quiets to the sound.

Sunbeams filter down in Autumn angles 

     through the canopy of leaves.

Kaleidoscopes of brilliant, dancing patterns on the grass. 

     The baby laughs and tries to catch the light.

Moments to treasure when the color fades 

      and all is gray…

          or is this Joy a gift for just today?

O soul, rejoice!

My whispered praise is added to the wind.

                                      ~Sara~

Sweet summer evening, after rain.

Sweet summer evening, after rain.

When the light is just right. 

    Soft, with scattered spots of fire

         in raindrops left behind.

And there’s that golden glow

     that burns along the edges of the leaves.

Each leaf, it seems, would be consumed,

         but is instead transformed

               into transparent living gems.

The light so bright in shifting spaces, 

      pure white

           between the shadows and the green,

and shafts shine down 

     on laughing children on the grass.

Life itself slows down so we can catch a glimpse of glory,

   and feel the gentle ache between each heart beat.

A homesickness for promised times we’ve yet to know.

The birds, so bold at other times

      are calling softly, shyly

              in the quiet of the almost night.

      Perhaps they feel it, too.

An eagerness to look ahead, into the glow.

                                     ~Sara~

Times of refreshing

Windows all open,
listening to that peaceful rain.

That smell, that sound, that cool breeze... 

These times of refreshing,
a gift in July.

I started a new and interesting Bible-Reading System (Professor Grant Horner's) which has me reading ten chapters a day, from ten different places in the Bible which sounds confusing (and a bit crazy) at first, but I have found it to be very interesting and attention holding. The thing that attracted me to the plan was that the emphasis is just on reading, reading, reading and only reading . . . not contemplation, study, cross referencing, etc. This was attractive as my mental concentration powers are truly at a low point, and as I'd been going about trying to read the Bible in my normal "small amounts and really pay attention" manner–my mind was wandering, my head was often nodding, and mostly I was losing the fight to just turn off the light, snuggle up with the baby, and go to sleep. When trying to shift my reading times to less sleepy times of the day, I'd find myself re-reading over and over to try to make sure I'd gotten it, and to be honest, I'd largely given up and had been very much out of the Bible reading habit for the past month or two (or more). By last week, I was feeling very distant from the Lord, as happens when starving from the Word, when I read about this system via a friend's timely suggestion.  So this read, read, read and fill up on the Word was attractive–like a huge glass of water when you are SO thirsty on a hot day–though I was still skeptical about "just" reading (and the good professor even encourages reading quickly... and no dawdling or back reading or looking up cross-references!) OK, then.

My thought after day one was... wow, you can't read ten chapters from ten books of the Bible and not see that every author is really telling the same story ~ how could these ten very different readings have such similar themes? I was reminded of connections I'd known but forgotten, and parts of my brain were startled awake. Like a sleepy enchantment finally being broken, I hear an urgent "Awake O sleeper! Rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light!"(Ephesians 5:14). Yes! I want to be awake!

Well, I haven't yet gotten through 30 days (which the designer of this plan recommends for trying it out) but I have already benefited from being back in the Word, even just dipping my toes in–ten toes in ten places. One thing is that throughout the day, the Lord is using His Word to speak truth to me, reminding me of Him in many things throughout the day. Though my impression had been that my comprehension was terrible, in fact, His words are coming to mind as normal everyday things remind me of spiritual things.

Today it was the rain.  Cool rain in in the midst of hot summer. So refreshing in a way that causes me to breathe deeply, relax my shoulders, set down my laundry basket, and just sit down and listen to the sound of the rain outside the window.  It seemed like a picture to me of the type of refreshing we should have in the Lord. I thought about my friend and her family in a relentlessly hot place on this planet, no air conditioning in sight (95 degrees inside her house), obeying a call to share the good news with a people living in darkness. I longed to send some of this rain to her dry and weary land, this cool breeze, some measure of refreshment . . . and also refreshing in the Lord.  And I realized that phrase "that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord" was whispering to me from the reading a few days ago. 

May we all have refreshing this week, and most of all ~ times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord.

                                                  ~Sara~


Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus, whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago. ~Acts 3:19-21


Note/Update: Added 9-9-2011 - I do really like this reading plan, but I haven't been able to keep up with the amount of reading during the school year (or even every day in the Summer!).  I'm still doing it very slowly, rotating with the bookmarks but only a few chapters a day and skipping some days. I still like this as a goal...maybe someday. In the meantime, getting all over the Bible has been good for me, even at a very slow pace.


To see how I have adapted this plan with five bookmarks and a "no-dates, you're-never-behind, no-guilt!" approach.  Please visit The Bookmarks Bible Reading Plan.  Blessings! (January 2012)

Dandelion love

Dandelion love,

     brought to me in chubby fists

         with glowing smiles today.

A barefoot prince brings 

     violet treasures, too.  

 Sweetness gathered, 

       new each springtime morn.

Jars of captured sunlight

      line my windowsill.

         

A day of childhood marked with each bouquet.

                               ~Sara~

A soul unthawed.

So eager in these days for warmth and life,
we sit outside in hazy sun
with bare limbed trees still reaching to the sky
and call it Spring.

A baby, born to cold and snow,
delights in fists of early grass
while sitting at my feet.

And birds, so bold,
are calling echoes
here and there.

But all around, an emptiness remains
in fields and sky.

And it's quiet. Oh, so quiet.

A moment to relax my guard as winter slips away.
Thankful, I sit.  Just breathing.

Waiting.

A soul unthawed.

                                     ~Sara~

O Snow!

When snow in April inspires bad poetry~

O Snow, O Snow, must you stay so long?

I'm weary of your games.
Half the year seems quite enough . . .
Another storm? How lame.

Now it's time for April's showers,
and green to shine anew.
Better yet, let's jump to May
with all its flowers, too.

O Snow, O Snow, I'm sad to say . . .
Get out of here! We're through!
Your welcome, Snow, is all worn out.

I'm so, so over you.

                                                 ~Sara~

Winter's longing

Looking out the window this morning, I was thinking about how easy it is to love the first snowfall of the season when the beautiful flakes come down by the millions and cover all the ugliness of dreary Fall. How happy, too, to think of our own ugliness being covered by God’s grace. But, today I was thinking that amazingly, God our Father has done more for us in Christ . . . how can it be? It’s not just the white covering of winter freezing us solid along with covering our sins. It’s new life, abundant life, all things made new. The promise of Springtime and Summer and warmth and love along with our new robes. And we are not lost in the process, but found and loved and . . . I can barely whisper it . . . glorified, so we can bear His Glory. Such good news. I’m thankful for seasons that teach me through the longing for Spring when gray skies come day after day–for seasons that teach my heart to hope for more. Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!


Winter's longing


Snow blows through the black framed trees.

Wrinkled white blankets
     cover soil at rest and
          flutter ragged at the seams.

Mud and old discarded things
     are hidden from our sight.
          Forgotten piles and projects fast asleep.

Covered but not made new.
     A cold and lifeless beauty.

The joy of sparkling powder
     has faded into gray;
          a chill comes through the glass.
Shoulders hunched in sweaters,
     we shiver at the bleakness
          and hope for Spring.

                                  ~Sara~


“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow . . .” Isaiah 1:18

(So Jesus again said to them, . . . )
. . . “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

Midwinter's gift.

This is a hard time of year in the North.

The lights and sparkle of Christmas have faded away, gifts have found a spot to stay in drawers and closets and cabinets, while the ornaments have been packed in boxes and bins. In our case, the Christmas tree is now decorating the yard–preserved green and frozen in the arctic air. And still, we face three more months of winter. The days are short and it's dark and cold when the first child wakes up in the morning.

This morning, as we gathered one by one in the kitchen, the day began as usual. Parents and older kids wrapped in bathrobes and blankets in the chilly air, trying to convince the younger children that socks and sweatshirts seem like a good idea while waiting for the fireplace to warm the house. Children eating cereal. Conversation and coffee and hoping that soon we'll feel more wide awake. Then something unusual happened. The door was opened to let the dog out, and the gust that invaded the kitchen was cold as expected, but it smelled . . . like Spring. Everyone sat up straight and sniffed the breeze. What a wonderful, amazing smell! It was like a midwinter's gift.

Going outside to stand on the icy, snow-covered deck, I stood with my face towards the sun–so sparkling bright on the snow I had to close my eyes. I kept standing there long enough that Grace opened her upstairs window to ask what I was doing.

What was I doing?

Thanking the Lord for this sunshine and the hint-of-springtime smell, and thinking. Thinking that everything in creation is here for a purpose, thinking of today's lesson for my soul. Trying to capture the gift.


Midwinter's Gift

Sunshine and dripping icicles.

Frozen trees half-exhale in the warming air 

       ~ a hint of springtime mixed

              with woodsmoke on their breath. 

Reminders in the bleak midwinter 

     that Life will triumph in the end.


                                                         ~Sara~